So, a few weeks back I ran into this one-page RPG on Tumblr. It's called "Escape from Triassic Park", and it's basically "Jurassic Park from the dinosaur perspective," with very fast and silly rules for maximum mayhem. This afternoon, I decided to try it out, and run a very short, very fast game of it for anyone who wanted to play.

(N.B.: The RPG was created by these folks based on the RPGs done by this guy and seems most like this RPG of his about criminal bears. Note has been also made of its similarity to Lasers & Feelings (PDF link), so, credit where it is variously due!)

The obstacles in their path were "all the males are in cryo storage" and "the guards are spliced with dino DNA"; they started "in their own enclosures"; and these are the stories of the Dinosaurs On The Run.

(Most of the OOC comments have been taken out of the log except for clarity, amusement, and where I forgot to do otherwise. One typo has been corrected, and two misordered poses have been put back into order. Otherwise this is exactly as it happened. Based on a true story, etc.)



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Escape from Triassic Park
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Characters:
TRICE the Triceratops
GALLEY the Gallimimus
VELOCINEKO the Velociraptor
DI the Dilophosaurus

Also:
ME the GM
ASSORTED other people commenting

###START###

It's another terrible day at the theme park. The guests are milling about, staring down into the pens where the separate dinosaur species are kept. It is very boring in the pens, not least of which because all of the male* dinosaurs are kept in cryostasis. How will you breed? And it's not as if it's easy to get out, with all of these guards around. Some of them are suspiciously dino-like, while being not very friendly at all. Living in the theme park is a /drag/.

(* Dinosaurs may identify as they feel appropriate! Only the ones humans identify as male are in cryostasis.)

Galley amuses herself by becoming startled by humans, shrieking, and running around the pen. Should she stumble across a way to get OUT of her pen whilst doing so, however...

OOC: Galley . o O (Plans? what are plans? FLAIL AND RUN! ...help, I think I'm an emu.)

OOC: wanderer says, "To be fair, you _are_ always at least slightly panicked."

OOC: Galley NODS! EXACTLY!

Velocineko stalks around the enclosure. Stalk. Stalk. She hides behind tires and bushes and stuff, just daring those humans to come in and find her.

Trice the Triceratops looks for something to ram and knock over.

There's a clanging as the feeding mechanism begins lowering into the various pens. Oh, this is a time when the tourists all crowd in, to watch the magic happen. Carnivores are being lowered down goats for big dinos and chickens for small dinos, while the herbivores are getting their supplementary greens with vitamins hidden inside. Guards stare watchfully from above as the buckets/platforms/goats get closer and closer to the ground.

OOC: Galley is a carnivore, yes?

Di decides it's time to climb the mechanism and release all the goats and chickens.
...there is a horrible grinding sound as the power flickers across the park. Food dispensers stop a few feet above ground level. Some of them dangling near the doors the vets come through, some just offering a little...more...height...

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <2 3 3 3> for 11 total.

OOC: Di thunk.

OOC: fade says, "I...I think you're a carnivore. If I'm wrong, well, the scientists got it wrong and made you one."

OOC: Galley says, "SOUNDS GOOD!"

OOC: Di says, "I think I'm a carnivore too!"

Galley screams and freaks out as the chickens come tumbling in, running around in circles. Oh, wait! AN OPPORTUNITY!

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <3 3 5 5> for 16 total.

Galley lunges for an opening! And smacks into the door beside it. Crap.

Di clambers up the food dispenser! Clamber, clamber... how is she getting inside this? More importantly, how is she getting down? Di whips her head around wildly and screeches, hoping that this will help somehow.

Velocineko stares up at the food, chattering and clicking. She runs about her enclosure in a wide circle and then makes a magnificent leap at the goat.

Trice charges the door the vets come through!

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <1 1 3 6> for 11 total.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <1 1 6> for 8 total.

DICE: Fade rolls 1d3 <1> for 1 total.

OOC: fade says, "Trice, you're about to bang through into Di's pen."

OOC: fade says, "Veloc, you can grab the goat, and hang suspended in the air much nearer the top of the enclosure than you usually get."

Di makes a leap onto the back of the nicely big friend that has just charged in.

Trice rams through the door like a badass triceratops, and starts circling the new pen to look for its weaknesses.

Guards are running around and pointing at things. The tourists are not running around, though; they're leaning in nearer the enclosures. All those tourists look so very ready to stare unnervingly at the things you dinosaurs are doing down there. Meanwhile, the door next to Galley opens up, as three guards and a heavily armored vet enter. They seem concerned about that bang into the wall.

Galley reels around her pen. SO MUCH NOISE! Also, her head is ringing. Why did that wall jump in front of her.

Velocineko keeps a strong hold of the goat and begins swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, waiting for that moment to let go and eat some human.

Galley orients on the guards. NOOO! RUN RUN RUN! (Hey, is that door still open?)

Di holds onto Trice's frill. "Trice! Trice! Over there!"

DICE: Trice rolls 3d6 <4 4 5> for 13 total.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <3 4 6> for 13 total.

OOC: Di helps Trice look for weaknesses!

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <2 3 6 6> for 17 total.

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 2 5 6> for 14 total.

OOC: Galley evades guards and makes a break through the door?

OOC: fade says, "1 more Panic, Trice! Success, Veloci, you can fling yourself freely at the folks at the edge of the pit."

OOC: Di found a weakness, yes?

OOC: fade says, "Yup, Di, you did. The light next to that door for the lock is usually on, but it's not lit up right now..."

Trice bellows in frustration.

Di points frantically at the door. "No lock! Time to go!"

Galley runs around like an emu, dodging guards, and... THE DOORWAY! *ZIP*

Velocineko launches at a especially delicious tourist, snap snap snap, and lands right on the edge of the enclosure.

Trice charges the door indicated by Di.

Galley's doorway takes her between the guards and into...a hallway? Yes, it's a big empty hallway, with lots of other doors attached. The one at the far end has a big bright EXIT sign over it. There are noises coming from the one very nearby.

Di hunkers down behind Trice's frill.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <3 4 5> for 12 total.

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <2 2 5 6> for 15 total.

Galley pauses a moment to see if there is anything shiny near any door, because hey, POKE SHINY THINGS! Like Buttons to open or close doors, right?

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <1 2 3 5> for 11 total.

OOC: fade says, "Panic, Galley! You run towards..."

DICE: Fade rolls 1d3 <3> for 3 total.

OOC: fade says, "...the Exit! It is not open yet, but that's where you're going."

OOC: Di says, "Wait, I thought Triceratopses have a Dino of 3."

Galley shrieks and gallops, bouncing off the sides of the corridor as she goes!

OOC: Trice says, "+1 to ram objects."

OOC: Di ah!

OOC: fade says, "Trice, you are going to go /right through/ that door. Which will take you into the corridor Galley is in. As Galley runs past. Pose it!"

Okay, yeah, /now/ the tourists are screaming and scattering as a velociraptor lands among them. Sadly, all that Velocineko could do was nip that juicy-looking human before it bolted off in another direction. There are guards heading her way, too, trying to push through the waves of panicking humans heading in the other direction. And somewhere below her feet, oddly enough, there's a lot of noise going on...

Trice rams right through the door like a specialized things-rammer, because TRICERATOPS CHARGE! And herd instincts kicking in, sees and runs after Galley!

Di grabs for Galley's tail!

Galley IS BEING CHASED! AHHHH! Scream! Run!

Di screeches, "Up here! Up here!"

Galley looks over her shoulder -- continuing to run -- and decides that okay, sure, let's jump up behind the frill!

DICE: Galley rolls 2d6 <2 2> for 4 total.

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <3 5 6 6> for 20 total.

OOC: fade says, "...yeah, you're not landing that jump. 1 point of Panic! Land somewhere inconvenient!"

OOC: Di says, "On me?"

OOC: Di says, "Thud, tangle of dino."

Galley attempts to jump for Trice's frill and... OH NO OVER THE TOP! Rolling along Trice's back! (Probably grabbing Di by accident, yup.)

Di yells, "No no no no o! Wrong up! /Wrong up!/"

OOC: fade says, "Di, you can roll Dino to save everyone by keeping both of you on. Or not risk the Panic and just let yourself be rolled off with Galley."

DICE: Di rolls 2d6 <3 4> for 7 total.

Velocineko follows after the noise below, biting at anything that gets in the way. She pauses periodically to tilt her head to the side to listen to the ground better.

OOC: Galley says, "Wrong up!"

Di yelps, "/WRONG UP!/" Down they go.

OOC: arcangel is cracking up here.

OOC: Velocineko says, "We are all gonna die."

OOC: Velocineko says, "This is like Paranoia Jurassic Park"

OOC: Trice says, "You might all die. I'm just going to ram through everything to freedom."

It's not hard for Velocineko to find the area of the noise. It's moving a bit, but it's just below this walkway full of tourists. And...rising? Smashing? Huh. Yes. That's definitely a smashing sound--as a charging triceratops rampages through an exit door, up a flight of stares, and right through the not particularly well-secured disguised entrance hatch in the middle of the walkway.

The triceratops is larger than the hatch. That's okay! The triceratops is moving quite rapidly! Chunks of pavement spray wildly around into the screaming crowd.

OOC: fade says, "Okay! Galley and Di, you can follow the trail of destruction when you like. Veloc, roll me Dino to dodge incoming pavement chunks. Trice, you are on a walkway full of screaming humans."

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <3 4 6> for 13 total.

Oh, and the guards are getting a lot closer as the tourists thin out, though frankly these crowds aren't thinning very fast. Humans are not great at running wildly in packs, as it turns out. They keep bumping into each other and getting clogging in narrow places.

Galley scrambles to her feet, peering down at Di. "Sorry!" She looks around. Where were the guards? Where is the exit? Oh, hey, exit thataway? Run now?
Di huffs, her frill deflating slightly in exasperation. "C'mon, Galley! We gotta catch up!" She grabs the other dino by an appropriate limb and starts running after Trice.

OOC: Galley says, "Is Di small enough for Galley to pick up?"

OOC: fade says, "Y'all are the size you decide you are, I say."

OOC: Di says, "Probably not. We're both tiny dinos. But I'm a raptor, I think, so I have arms!"

Velocineko rars at the others, "Wait for me!" and runs along with the others. Ninjally.

OOC: fade says, "Everyone is roughly in the same place. Situation recap: ground is broken up around a hatchway that leads to underground corridor with lots of doors; approaching guards; screaming tourists; on a path between the sunken enclosures where y'all used to live."

OOC: Galley will grab up Di and run for the exit, or lock hands with Di, and run ditto, depending on relative sizes.

Velocineko hisses and spits at the incoming guards.

Trice runs down the path the direction the humans are going, ramming them down as necessary.

OOC: Di is gonna try to bounce around and get guards to shoot each other!

OOC: Galley is following in the wake!

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <1 3 3 3> for 10 total.

Di bounds towards the guards, spitting venom around to get them slipping and sliding. Or maybe blinded! Whatever gets them shooting each other instead of Trice.

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 2 4 6> for 13 total.

OOC: fade says, "Di, you get a guard to shoot another guard. Pose it, and take +1 Humans Killed, -1 Panic."

Galley runs along, veering from side to side, but OH HEY THERE'S TRICE! She should go ride on Trice like Di said, right? SURE!

Velocineko follows after Trice because her mama told her that the safest place on a battlefield is behind the triceratops.

Trice loses her footing on trampled human, which totally screws up ramming efforts. Stupid slippery humans.

OOC: fade says, "Poor Trice. And that human was already trampled, so you don't even get kill points for it."

DICE: Galley rolls 3d6 <4 5 6> for 15 total.

Di jumps onto a guard's head and kicks off, sending him right into another guard's shot, and lands on Trice's back.

Di whips her head around. Are there still guards here after everything? ...probably.

Galley makes a soaring leap! And lands right behind Di on Trice's back, WOOOHOO!

Velocineko skids to a stop behind Trice and charges as the nearest human, roaring "It's dinner time!"

Galley is very proud of herself and grabs onto Trice's frill, looking around with great smuggitude.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <2 3 6> for 11 total.

It's a terrifying four-dinosaur band, even if the rampage is slipping on squashed human at the moment. A guard taken out by another guard! Acrobatic leaps onto the back of Trice! And two of the guards who were raising their guns flinch and back off at Velocineko's threat display. And--uh-oh. Someone is yelling into a their stupid helmet mic, "Call in the choppers! Tranq guns!" It's a good thing that all of you have heard those words often enough to know what the humans are talking about here. But at least you have an interspecies alliance going on! (Males, maybe not, but you're a four-dino band of destruction, which counts for a lot.)

OOC: Velocineko plays the bass.

OOC: fade says, "This is a good moment to plan, if you feel like planning. If not, react wildly! Your call! You have a pose or so each before I cue choppers and/or the Mystery Threat."

Galley has a high vantage point and begins looking for the GIANT NOISY BUGS that SHOOT SLEEPSTING!

OOC: fade says, "You don't even need to roll for that one, Galley. You can already hear the distant BRRRR coming from...straight ahead, far down this path between enclosures, though they're not visible yet."

Velocineko looks around for covered walkway or something. "We need to get out of here!"

Galley points with her nose. "Sleepsting bugs ahead!" she warns everyone else. "Run away!?"

Trice looks for somewhere to get cover from the helicopters.

OOC: fade says, "Veloci, this is a really cramped situation. There's ahead towards the choppers, back towards the big walls around the park, down into the enclosures again (ugh!), or down into the corridor below. You're not sure about the park layout, but roll me Escape if you want to try to figure out where things would likely be."

Di says, "Choppers are the big metal things." She knows this kind of stuff, being an intelligent sort of dino. "They go in the sky. They're too up to ram. But they have a human inside! I saw one through the clear solid thing once!" Her frill FWOOMPS outward as an idea occurs. "Trice! Trice! Imma spit onto clear thing! Then they can't see!"

OOC: fade says, "There is a /terrible/ lack of cover, Trice. Cover would get in the way of those nasty tourists staring at you all the time."

Trice bellows in frustration, and charges and rams a guard.

Galley says, excitedly, "Di! Climb on my back to be higher to spit!" (She crouches for this. On the moving Trice, sure.)

OOC: Velocineko bbs

OOC: Velocineko says, "I will eat and open doors."

Di clambers up onto Galley's shoulders, holds on, and gets ready to spit nasty gunk all over some unsuspecting pilot's 'clear thing.'

The velociraptor looks ready for action, perhaps whatever action the rest of the dinosaurs agree on! Meanwhile, the choppers are coming into sight, with their nasty roars and big glassy eyes in the front.

Di spits venom at the eyes!

Galley carefully stands up on the rampaging Trice's back, clinging to her frill, for Di to be as high as possible!

OOC: fade says, "Okay! Trice, roll Dino to charge a guard. Di, roll Dino to spit poison. Galley, roll Escape to /keep this all together/ while weird unusual-for-dino things are going on."

DICE: Di rolls 2d6 <2 6> for 8 total.

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <1 1 2 2> for 6 total.

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <3 4 6 6> for 19 total.

OOC: fade steeples fingers. Okay. Yes. This should be good.

OOC: Di says, "Well, there /is/ a 6 there..."

OOC: Di says, "It's just not a /useful/ 6."

OOC: Galley thinks she is at 5 panic there.

OOC: Galley probably emu-freaked at the noisy choppers, even though she was expecting them. *hangs head*

Trice charges! Di spits! It is a glorious plan, a thrill to any angry dinosaur's heart! ...but perhaps not very much in the usual manner of things dinosaurs do. How often has Galley had to hold another dinosaur up before? Not many, let's all be honest here. Di's spit slaps into the windshield of the approaching chopper, obscuring it terribly! ...also obscuring the windshield of the chopper, as it swung down towards the dinos, is Di, who was just flung wildly into the air by Galley.

Meanwhile, a guard goes SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH under Trice's enraged feet. Big feet, little guards. That's the way of the world.

Galley shrieks, "AHHHH! BUG BUG BUG BUG!" ...oh, wait, where's Di? ...oops. "SORRY!" ...she will try to jump and catch Di if Di falls off!

OOC: fade says, "You all get to do a thing before a helicopter starts sprouting tranq darts! (The second helicopter has some Issues right now.)"

OOC: fade says, "I will assume that Velocineko is menacing any guards on the ground enough that they're not willing to approach near enough to get a clean shot from there."

Di is on a chopper! Okay! That's a thing! A chopper that is maybe going to crash because it can't see anything. That's a /bad/ thing. She looks around and spots... another chopper. Jump time! But hopefully jump /low/ time, because those whirling blades look nasty.

OOC: Di is hoping to fall on the ground if she fails, instead of into the whirling things.

OOC: Di says, "...which are probably more of a panic-6 thing anyway, I hope?"

OOC: fade says, "Yeah, that's more of a panic 6 kind of thing."

OOC: Di assumes that it is Dino time.

OOC: fade says, "That is totally Dino time. JUMP, DI, JUMP."

Trice feels /good/ at having trampled a guard, and decides to ram another one! Rid the park of guards!

DICE: Di rolls 2d6 <1 1> for 2 total.

OOC: Di thud.

OOC: fade says, "Trample, Trice, Trample!"

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <1 3 3 5> for 12 total.

Galley jumps to catch Di!

OOC: fade says, "...I'll get back to you, Di. Meanwhile, take Panic +1."

DICE: Galley rolls 5d6 <3 3 4 4 6> for 20 total.

OOC: Galley whew

Trice has fresh-trampled guard on her feet as she charges another. This doesn't make her slip, but when the guard she's charging manages to dodge, it makes it hard to stop before hitting the railing. Fortunately, she does manage to stop with the assistance of the rail and avoids falling over.

Di jumps for the second chopper, shooting like a particularly scaly arrow towards the bulbous glass human-shielding eye... and the chopper, /not/ being blinded, shoots up towards the ceiling. Di's claws just brush one of its metal legs, and then she's plummeting a horrible distance towards the chaos below. She flares her frill and waves her arms, screeching in terror.

Galley bounds off Trice's back, grabbing for her fellow biped dino who so bravely fought the STINGBUGS! She makes a magnificent arc through the air, tiny arms outstretched so she can gather Di in against her chest.

OOC: fade ponders whether the first helicopter should fly away, crash, crash /horribly/, or crash horribly in a way that's really inconvenient for dinos. Let's find out! 1d4.

DICE: Fade rolls 1d4 <4> for 4 total.

OOC: fade says, "Okay! Let me see."

OOC: Galley says, "Do we/Di get unpanic points for the crashed chopper?"

OOC: Di says, "Does that count as a human killed for me?"

OOC: Galley hi5s Di.

OOC: fade says, "...ha. Yes. YES YOU DO. Di, you get a +4 Humans Killed and your Panic is at 0, because you are, in fact, going to take out a chopper. (Don't celebrate too soon, I'm still writing this pose...)"

OOC: Galley giggles.

The helicopter that's been venom-coated is still spinning wildly around, but the humans inside seem to be getting it back under control.

Riiiiight up until the edge of the blade clips a bit of guardrail that's been bent up into the air by a triceratops that slammed against it just a few seconds ago. There is a horrible, horrible noise as the blades disintegrate, and then, a moment thereafter, a mighty BOOM as the helicopter slams into the wall of one of the enclosures.

So, the good news is that there's only one helicopter still pointed at everyone, and it's pretty high up out of good tranq range right now! The interesting news is that an enclosure wall has collapsed to let anything inside easily climb out across that rubble. The bad news is that the enclosure in question belongs to Rega the T-Rex, and, man, Rega has never been a friendly sort.

Galley ohcrap and hopes she is not landing near Rega.

OOC: fade says, "You're all safely up on the walkway that goes between enclosures. But you get a pose or so to do something before Rega and/or the second helicopter close in."

OOC: fade says, "Situation: pavement is broken up but still walkable in both directions; big park wall somewhere distantly behind you; hatch to corridor near you in the ground; guards somewhere in front of you but backing off because of the velociraptor; enclosures to your sides; Rega coming up on the left; helicopter coming down from above."

OOC: fade says, "So, you know. Nothing too complicated."

Galley clutches Di to her chest... well, upper neck and shoulders, anyway... as if the smaller dino is actually a hatchling. "Run away, stingbugs go for Rega, we find males?" she suggests breathlessly.

Di thinks that Rega and helicopter should meet each other instead of the four-dino band. "Yes! Yes! Good plan! Thank-you-for-catch-now-/run!/"

Trice says, “Find males good plan.”

Trice tries to figure out what direction the males are in.

Galley runs for... THE CORRIDOR! "This way! Males back in pens, yes yes yes?"

Di says, "No! Cold tube place!"

Di says, "We gotta find cold tube place!"

DICE: Trice rolls 3d6 <3 5 6> for 14 total.

Galley is still clutching Di as she runs for the corridor entry, but can be redirected.

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 1 4 5> for 11 total.

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <4 5 6 6> for 21 total.

OOC: fade says, "Galley, Trice, you're pretty sure that the Cold Place has got to be somewhere underground, since that's where the vets live, right? And vets have cold things like needles. Di, you are confused and perturbed by the whole question, but not in a panicky way. (Yet.)"

Galley runs for the hatch, leading the way for their tank, er, Trice.

The corridor is oddly silent. Aside from the sound of a triceratops gallumphing down it. So many doors, leading to so many places... But dinosaurs remember where the vets come from, for sure. Way down at the end of the corridor and to the right, isn't it?

Galley goes that way, YEAH! FASTFAST!

There's an awful lot of noise back the way everyone came from, but, eh, a T-Rex fighting a helicopter, who would care about something like /that/?

OOC: Di says, "Hopefully, the guards."

OOC: Galley says, "Can't cuddle it, can't eat it, might as well run from it."

OOC: Trice says, "Saves me having to ram both the helicopter and the T-Rex."

OOC: Velocineko says, "This is turning into that Dr. McNinja arc"

After a fair amount of running, you four (the velociraptor is a silent partner) reach a door that you recall leads to a lot of vetting. Terrible, poky vetting. It is a large and heavily reinforced door, with a panel next to it. The glowy lights aren't glowing right now.

Galley looks for a place to stand back and let Trice do her thing.

Velocineko also stands back, claws clicking. Clickety click.

Trice backs up a bit to get some good space to run hard, then charges forward and rams the door!

OOC: fade says, "Oh, good, you're here for the door, Veloci."

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <2 5 5 6> for 18 total.

Di clings to Galley, as she appears to... still be being carried.

OOC: Trice says, "Unless I stomped on a pose?"

OOC: Galley thinks Trice has been doing very good door things and failed to notice Veloci had finished nomming squished guard or something.

OOC: Velocineko says, "Admittedly, triceratops smashing things is pretty cool"

The door goes KATHUD and bangs...mostly in. It's stuck on something bigger and harder to move inside. There's enough of a gap that smaller dinos could squeeze in, maybe.

Galley sets down their smallest member and peers.

Di jumps out of Galley's arms and decides it's squeeze through time!

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 1 5 6> for 13 total.

Trice waits for everyone squeezing through to squeeze through, then charges! Again!

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <1 2 4 6> for 13 total.

It's pretty easy for Di to get inside, actually. Inside into a cave of... WONDERS. Yes, it's the vet room, but it's the vet room in a panic! Squishy normal humans in white lab coats are running around with flashlights and speaking very urgently about something called a "power outage" and "emergency defrost protocol". It looks like they barricaded the door, even. They haven't noticed Di yet, though they sure are pointing at the indented door. There's another big door past all these humans, with lots of guards in front of it.

Velocineko waits for Trice.

...and then the door smashes in past their barricade, so, yeah, okay. They are noticing that. Everyone is totally noticing that. Guards, vets, maybe even the second door. Noticing is happening.

Di runs around around vets' feet, trying to trip them up. Or trip them down, as things may go.

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 2 3 5> for 11 total.

Velocineko charges into the room, hissing and roaring and going right for the last vet to touch her.

Di runs around a lot, yes! And... gets tripped over, yes, but not usefully. Painfully.

Galley shrieks, "Yay, Trice!" and squeezes through the opening between door+Trice.

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <4 4 6 6> for 20 total.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <2 4 4> for 10 total.

OOC: Galley buffs her claws. Who's a good girl? She's a good girl.

OOC: fade says, "Galley, you are /certain/ that the male dinosaurs are 1) past that second door with all the guards in front, 2) awake and waiting for you."

OOC: fade says, "Veloc, +1 Panic, pose your inability to murder the vet as you feel appropriate."

There is a whole lot of screaming going on now! Who knew vets could scream like that? And all the guards are drawing their weapons upward--except for one who's sort of hunching back, almost like /he's/ about to spit venom. But that would be wacky, wouldn't it? He's a human.

Galley goes ZOOM for the second door! In... well, there are no such things as straight lines in Galley's world. She bobs her head! She weaves! She jumps over vets!

Di picks herself off the ground, whimpering slightly, and follows Galley!

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <2 2 5 6> for 15 total.

OOC: Galley is a GalliEMUmus.

Trice charges the guards! Ram the guards!

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <1 4 5 6> for 16 total.

Galley bounds! Jumps! Weaves! Bobs! and oh look DOOR CONTROLS! ...um. Right. Doors. Trice is busy... "Veloci! Veloci! THE BOYS ARE WAITING HERE!"

Velocineko rarrrrrrr at delicious vet and then there's a broken piece of door console and Veloci just goes tripping on by in the least graceful way possible. After stumbling, he hisses and spits and takes off to the door controls.

Di jumps away from the point that a triceratops is charging at and clambers back onto Galley's shoulders to get at the door.

Di eyes these shiny things. Considers them. Starts pressing them at random, hoping this will make the door go open.

Galley is climbed upon! By her... hatchling? ...look, she hasn't had a flock for a long time and it's getting to her, okay?

Velocineko roars, "Butttttons!"

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 1 2 5> for 9 total.

DICE: Arcangel rolls 4d6 <1 2 2 3> for 8 total.

Di presses lots and lots of buttons, frantically!

OOC: Galley ...is at 6 panic now.

OOC: fade says, "Oh, and +1 Humans Killed, -1 Panic for squishing someone, Trice."

OOC: fade says, "...okay, Galley. Let me think, just a sec."

Velocineko pushes buttons as well. But a little more orderly than Di.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 4d6 <1 1 1 2> for 5 total.

OOC: Velocineko says, "Oh damn"

OOC: Galley says, "These are terrible buttons."

OOC: fade says, "Galley, you are about to be Netted by a guard and dragged away into a mass of humans. Pose accordingly! Veloc and Di, the door is /thwarting/ you, and it is very frustrating."

OOC: Velocineko is at Panic! at the Disco 3

OOC: fade says, "Trice, you are surrounded by panicking vets and malevolent guards, but 'surrounded' is less of an issue at your size. But your face is currently to a wall, because of your most recent squishing."

OOC: Velocineko says, "Don't forget you can poop!"

Galley has to stand still has to stand still aaahhhhhhh! A GUARD MOVED! She jostles and starts to run and suddenly A NET OH NO OH NO! Writhing and screeching, she is dragged away from the others! Her hatchling! Her... um, whatever Veloci is...

Velocineko snaps at the door controls and just bangs away some more.

Galley hisses and shrieks amid the humans, flailing ineffectually.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 4d6 <3 3 4 5> for 15 total.

Di topples off of Galley's shoulders, and when she scrambles back up... OH NO. She goes bounding towards the guards that have Galley captured, weaving and dodging and screeching and spitting venom in the general direction of eyes. She is a little rubber bouncing thing of confusion! Hopefully. Hopefully she can get the humans to panic.

Trice turns around, shoving humans as she does so, and sees Galley getting netted. THIS WILL NOT STAND!

Things look dire for our dino protagonists. Humans everywhere! Some of them very strange, the others the known horror that is dino-vets! All the males on the other side of that door that isn't opening! What will save them?

Probably not the guard who's spitting venom at them right now. That's pretty weird, even by local standards. You would think a venom-spitting guard would be a dino friend. But no. He's on the Galley-netting side. It's very unfair.

OOC: Galley is offended by venom-spitting guards not being on the right side.

OOC: Trice says, "And if I can, I'd like to charge the guard with the net."

OOC: Trice says, "YOU CAN'T TAKE AWAY MY CREDIT CARD!"

OOC: fade says, "Trice, you can always CHARGE."

DICE: Trice rolls 4d6 <2 3 5 5> for 15 total.

DICE: Di rolls 2d6 <4 6> for 10 total.

OOC: wanderer says, "I am kind of sad we do not have a Sauropod involved in this. The added chaos from uncontrollable sneezing on all the failures would be just icing on the already messy cake."

OOC: arcangel says, "Cat Percy is a Sauropod."

OOC: fade says, "It turns out to be very hard to get a good charge going in a room this size."

Di is a bouncing ball of venom and teeth and screaming! She finds, after a few moments of chaos, a hand holding a net! She bites down on it hard, then when he lets go spits venom onto the net.

OOC: fade says, "To be fair, I'm not sure I could fit a sauropod into this room."

OOC: arcangel says, "Mini-saurpod."

OOC: wanderer says, "To be honest, I'd think tail swipes might be more effective than attempting to charge, depending on what is behind. (Which, to be fair, a triceratops probably can't _tell_.)"

Trice has some difficulty getting turned around and aimed at the guard, and there isn't enough room to get a really good charge going, and the guard dodges, and when Trice hits her head against the wall, she lets her bowels move in frustration.

OOC: Ellie says, "Micropods. For riding."

Galley flails and tries to escape!

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <2 2 5 5> for 14 total.

Galley flails ineffectually.

Oh gosh. That's a lot of dino poop. The humans are yelling all sorts of things! Many of those words are ones none of these dinos have heard before!

OOC: wanderer says, "A full-size sauropod would have to be elsewhere, with a split party! And probably sneezing all over the place."

There is, however, some noise coming from the /far/ side of that door over there, where all the boys are... Perhaps the venom brings the boys to the yard? Or the screaming, or the flailing, or the banging at the lock, or the poop. The jury's out on this one.

Velocineko prays to the great Velociraptor Gods on their Throne of Bones.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 4d6 <2 2 3 6> for 13 total.

OOC: Galley says, "Good prayer!"

OOC: Velocineko says, "Velociraptors live in the Warhammer world."

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 3 4 5> for 13 total.

Trice sweeps her tail back and forth to knock over as many humans as possible!

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <2 3 3 5> for 13 total.

Di claws at the net ineffectively.

DICE: Trice rolls 3d6 <3 4 5> for 12 total.

Galley wriggles ineffectually.

Velocineko rars to the Heavens and straight out bashes the control panel with her head. The blinkenlights all go solid before the door makes a hiss and begins opening. The control panel makes a sound of defeat and the lights go out.

OOC: Velocineko says, "Behind the door... is an even bigger Triassic Park"

OOC: Di says, "Hopefully behind the door is the /boys./"

OOC: Galley yearns for a bigger flock! Pack. Whatever.

OOC: Di says, "Well, given that birds are dinosaurs and birds have flocks, it should /totally/ be flock."

The door to the boys slides open. And...

My dino-god. It's full of MALES. Big ones, little ones--well, more little ones than big ones, they've got limited space in this facility--but there's at least one for each of your species. Two for some of you! Males of species you've never even encountered before!

A male velociraptor ducks his head bashfully to Velocineko. "Pardon me, miss," he says, "but I was wondering if you wanted to destroy a lot of humans with us?"

OOC: Galley says, "Or possibly Murders."

Velocineko says, “That is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”

OOC: fade says, "We are now at the final poses stage, because y'all have Found THe Boys, and I don't have time to do a full escape-from-park after this. I would like each of you to roll me Escape and Dino--tell me which is which!--and I will give you guidelines for your 'Next' and 'Happily Ever After' closing."

OOC: fade says, "This is a rule I'm making up on the spot because heck why not."

DICE: Di rolls 2d6 <2 4> for 6 total.

DICE: Di rolls 4d6 <1 3 3 5> for 12 total.

DICE: Galley rolls 4d6 <1 2 3 5> for 11 total.

DICE: Galley rolls 2d6 <1 4> for 5 total.

Trice shouts, "Kill the guards!

DICE: Velocineko rolls 4d6 <1 4 5 6> for 16 total.

DICE: Velocineko rolls 3d6 <3 5 5> for 13 total.

DICE: Trice rolls 3d6 <1 5 6> for 12 total.

DICE: Trice rolls 3d6 <2 2 6> for 10 total.

OOC: Velocineko fails both, unless a door is involved :D

Trice goes shoulder-to-shoulder with a male triceratops to run over and ram all the humans that dare get in their way.

OOC: fade says, "You are free to go as straightforward or as wild as you like in the obstacle conquer pose as you like. Trampled some dudes? Parkoured off seventeen helicopters? Honorable single combat with a dino-guard? Opened a door? Go for it."

Velocineko dashes in and out of the gang, snapping at humans who get to close and just making life rough for them. Then comes her moment. The group is stopped by the massive gate. With bars. And locks. And threatening spikes. But there is a control panel. She takes a deep breath and roars, "It's a UNIX system. I know this!" and with a single head bash, the door opens.

Galley flails and kicks, and finally gets that dreadful net sufficiently away from her legs that she can stand again. OH LOOK, A FLOCK! She bobs her head, urgently trying to make sure that everyone else is with them. Her flock? Di? Does Di have a flock? Something to spit poison... OH WAIT, IT IS THAT GUARD! That guard is not a dino! It is spitting! She tries to go and push him away from his target, but her arms, her arms are still tangled in the net! Acid sprays -- not hitting its target, but instead searing down Galley's side and face. She shrieks and flees in the wake of Trice and Veloci.

Di hops back onto Trice's back as more choppers come roaring after the group of fleeing dinosaurs. She spits venom onto the first's clear wall, bares her teeth and flings herself at it. She manages to get onto its body, spits at the others from that vantage point -- and, as it goes down, screeches in pain as one of its whirling blades bites through her left leg. She drags herself back to the others, whimpering quietly, and climbs back onto the triceratops.

And so the dinosaurs flee into the sunset, into the distance... and off to the island where they can finally be at home.

On the deserted islands that is now home to the Gang, Velocineko makes a comfortable life with her guy. But it was not always so easy going. The trip to the island was fraught with danger and many velociraptors discovered they had a lot of difficulty swimming until a completely different species shared the secret: there's a sandbar connecting the islands. Even with this knowledge, Velocineko had not yet learned about tides and undertows.

Wounded, limping, blind in one eye... Galley is at least the only female on earth, from her mate's point of view, and he tells her that they are very heroic wounds. The tendency to be surprised by things on her blind side means that she is EVEN MORE easily startled by things, and falls down a bit more when she lands wrong on her bad leg. Nevertheless, she is a devoted mother to her nests, and glories in the swift hatchlings that survive them.

The paired triceratopses live happily ever after, eating grass and bushes and the tops of trees (after ramming them to the ground) and making little baby triceratopses and teaching them to ram things. And the escaped T-rexes stay far away, partly out of respect for Trice's role in the liberation, but mostly because they don't want to get rammed. Or, rather, as is forever after said in the English language after the epic escape, triced!

Di is never again a fast dino, with one leg cut off at the knee, but does her best to compensate by being a sneaky dino instead, ambushing prey with venom to give her mate openings to strike. Her hatchlings are even more ridiculously tiny than she is, and she nearly loses a few of the kitten-sized babies to various hazards of the island. Still, they manage -- if only barely.

Thus the brilliant sunset cuts across the sky, as we leave the dinosaurs of Triassic Park, free and happy (more or less) on, at last, an island of their own.

###END###
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)

From: [personal profile] archangelbeth


*cheers the GM!*
*cheers the other players!*

So much awesome. O:D
archangelbeth: Cartoon face with glasses, horns, and a pointy-toothed smirk. (Djinnsmirk)

From: [personal profile] archangelbeth


IF YOU DON'T WANT DINOS THEN WHY DID YOU CLONE THEM AND PUT THEM IN A ZOO? Really, now.
.

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