![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I hadn't really noticed how exhausted I was getting until my brain decided No More Homework, and instituted a thinky-things moratorium for a few days. Which did nothing good for my score on yesterday's Greek exam, I'm sure. But I got home today after class, having done no homework of any sort since Tuesday evening, and...and...
...boy, I felt good.
It's the first time all week that I've gotten home from class and not already been overwhelmed, cranky, and so tired I could just about cry from sheer exhaustion. Instead, I wandered through the grocery store, picked up some stuff for dinner, got home, tidied the kitchen, prepped some things for dinner and dessert, and pondered my next writing project. Cheerfully! Without feeling as if I was about to start sobbing over the things needing to be done!
It's rather nice.
My next writing project is, in fact, going to be something utterly frivolous and self-indulgent. I'm writing a damn lesbian adventure-romance in a suspiciously D&D-esque setting. With fireballs and magic weapons and cheerful expository banter and very little in the way of useful plot beyond "Let's hunt the macguffin!"
Why? Because I've been so damn tired lately, I haven't been getting any writing done at all. It's been making me terrified and angry and teary just to think about working on a project where I have standards and plans and some sort of intention of eventually trying to get it published.
So. Putting that on hold for the moment. I'm not a writer with an academic hobby on the side; I'm a student who really wants to do writing too. And at the moment, I just don't have the energy to pursue both equally. It gives me a pang to say so, but much as I love writing, it's not the most important thing in the world to me. Basic mental health, and pursuing this theoretical academic career, do come first.
So at least if I write something wildly self-indulgent, I'm getting some basic practice in, without overwhelming myself so much that I get nothing written at all.
So goes the theory.
(Let's not even talk about my improbable, grandiose plans for the research paper I need to work on for my Latin class. We will file them quietly under Unlikely, cross-reference them to Pipe Dreams, and move gently on.)
...boy, I felt good.
It's the first time all week that I've gotten home from class and not already been overwhelmed, cranky, and so tired I could just about cry from sheer exhaustion. Instead, I wandered through the grocery store, picked up some stuff for dinner, got home, tidied the kitchen, prepped some things for dinner and dessert, and pondered my next writing project. Cheerfully! Without feeling as if I was about to start sobbing over the things needing to be done!
It's rather nice.
My next writing project is, in fact, going to be something utterly frivolous and self-indulgent. I'm writing a damn lesbian adventure-romance in a suspiciously D&D-esque setting. With fireballs and magic weapons and cheerful expository banter and very little in the way of useful plot beyond "Let's hunt the macguffin!"
Why? Because I've been so damn tired lately, I haven't been getting any writing done at all. It's been making me terrified and angry and teary just to think about working on a project where I have standards and plans and some sort of intention of eventually trying to get it published.
So. Putting that on hold for the moment. I'm not a writer with an academic hobby on the side; I'm a student who really wants to do writing too. And at the moment, I just don't have the energy to pursue both equally. It gives me a pang to say so, but much as I love writing, it's not the most important thing in the world to me. Basic mental health, and pursuing this theoretical academic career, do come first.
So at least if I write something wildly self-indulgent, I'm getting some basic practice in, without overwhelming myself so much that I get nothing written at all.
So goes the theory.
(Let's not even talk about my improbable, grandiose plans for the research paper I need to work on for my Latin class. We will file them quietly under Unlikely, cross-reference them to Pipe Dreams, and move gently on.)