Pixel

I woke up early this morning to a call from Rob. Pixel was fine last night, and this morning she was cold and dead. We're not sure why yet. Maybe it was the same thing that sent her to the vet before, and maybe it wasn't.

It's almost certainly nothing that I could have prevented, even if I had been at home at the time.

I'm upset in a distant sort of way. It doesn't feel particularly real yet. I can work myself up to being very upset if I contemplate the fact that I wasn't home and hadn't been for days when this happened, but it's not like that helps anyone. It's a thing that happened. Pets do die, and if that is inevitable, I would rather take suddenly and unexpectedly over slowly and with expensive efforts that fail anyway.

I don't particularly want to talk about it. But since I do (did) talk about my dog here from time to time, I thought people should know.

ETA: An autopsy discovered a quarter-sized tumor right by her heart. It burst while she was sleeping and she went fast, in her sleep. I honestly do feel much better for knowing she wasn't in pain or missing me at the time.