(no subject)

[fadeaccompli]

Ah, doggy. Pixel is a sweetheart in so many ways, but my god she's driving me batty.

We've finally found a way that everyone can get sleep at once; Pixel sleeps in her crate, and her crate goes beside the bed in the guest room, and I sleep in there while Rob takes the bedroom and the cats. Which means I get no cat time, and Pixel gets pretty much constant me-time, and...I couldn't say that I'm happy with this arrangement, but at least we're all sleeping?

She's got some serious separation anxiety issues. After spending all night in her company, and then getting up and petting and giving her breakfast, I went to take a shower alone. Ten minutes! Probably less than ten minutes! She whined and barked outside the whole time, because I was Not There.

On the one hand, I really need to give her some time to settle in, settle down, and feel reassured. On the other hand, I feel increasingly guilty about my "Don't worry, Pixel, I won't abandon you!" reassurances when I know full well that if she can't get over this sort of thing, I'm going to have to take her back to the shelter. I can only put up with this so long. And the longer we stay together, the more traumatic it'd be to take her back... Ugh.

I feel like a bad dog parent. But frankly, I only have so much in me for this dog. I do love her--she's sweet and somewhat biddable and likes fetch and is very house-trained and only chases cats because she wants to plaaaaay--but I'm spending my entire break getting into a stress-filled mess of my own, instead of recovering and preparing for next semester. And I can't tell from this point how fast her "getting better" is going to happen, or to what extent.

I don't know. I guess I give it a while longer, and see how this goes.

Comments

[neogrammarian]

Have you been in contact with the shelter at all? Separation anxiety is pretty normal for a lot of dogs to some extent, but this seems really over the edge. I know house-beagels end up on antidepressants to calm their separation anxiety, but that doesn't seem like a direction you should have to go. I honestly don't know anyone who's been through what you have with a shelter dog before- not even close.

[fadeaccompli]

I did contact the shelter. They suggested the thundercoat (tried it to no effect) and pheremone collars (she's wearing one now, not sure yet if it's working, as they sometimes take a few days to show effects) and letting her sleep with my laundry (did that) and just letting her sleep with me (which I'm kinda trying). I'm actually being told that this is really common, so... I don't know. At least she's not destructive? Or injuring herself. And maybe it's just that other people let the dog sleep with them, so there's no all-night hysterics, and then aren't bothered by Upset Dog In Yard while at work if they're not at home to hear her crying anyway.

The shelter also quietly let me know that they're open on Christmas, even if not advertised as such, and that if I bring her back within a month of adoption, it's a no-fault return rather than needing an interview and all. Sigh. I am trying to hold out at least to the end of the month, to see if things improve.

[neogrammarian]

Well I'm glad that the shelter is giving you some strategies, and that there's a no-fault option if it doesn't work out. I hope she turns around soon though- you're putting so much effort into this.

[fadeaccompli]

I am going to feel absolutely miserable about this if it doesn't turn out. (And I'm not going to try getting a Different Dog, either, if so.) She's a sweetie, and she really does need a good, secure home where she can feel safe. But ultimately... she's a dog, not a child, and I do need to look out for what I can really handle. So. We will see.

And thank you.

[neogrammarian]

Oh absolutely- you cannot wreck your life over this. When I got my current dog I fully intended to take her back in the allotted time if anything loopy turned up once she was home. I could not handle anything too complicated, and I knew that going in.

[fadeaccompli]

Part of what's so frustrating is that she's such a Good Dog otherwise. If she were having multiple problems, I'd sadly take her back; if she were having none, I'd be ecstatic. But she's aaaaaaalmost perfect, in a way that makes me all the more guilty about not being able to handle the remaining imperfection well.