Fun with Cicero!

I don't think he's ever going to let up on being condescending towards just about everyone involved in this case, while buttering up all the judges. Poor little Caelius, attacked just for being an active, good-looking kid! Poor little Atritinus, who doesn't know better than to bring a case like this into a court full of his elders! Don't worry, little fellows; Daddy Cicero will take care of everything.


Chapter 5

For as to the objection that the young is not esteemed by his fellow townsmen, the Praetuttiani have bestowed greater honors to no one present, ever, than to the absent Marcus Caelius; whom even while he was absent they elected into the highest order and conferred these things to a man not seeking them, which they refused to many who were asking. And now they have sent a most select group of men both of our order and of Roman knights with the commission to this court, with both the most serious and most eloquent testimonial. It seems to me that the beginnings of this defense fall to me, which are most firm if it depends on his own judgment. For it's not possible that this young man was recommended sufficiently to you, if he were displeasing not only to his parent, so great a man, but also to a town so renowned and so dignified.

Chapter 6

Indeed, to come to my own case, I have sprung from these sources to fame among men, and my work for this public and reason for life has spread out into good esteem among men a little more than the commendation and judgment of my fellows.

Now, as for the charges regarding his sexual morals, and as to all of the accusations that have been proclaimed not regarding criminal charges but as gossip and slander, Marcus Caelius will never bear it so harshly that he regrets that he was not born ugly. For this widely-spread insult was against all of those whose body and face were noble-looking in adolescence. But it is one thing to wickedly say this, and another to make it an accusation. An accusation requires a crime, in order to define the matter, indicate the man, test it with an argument, and confirm it with a witness; however, slander has no purpose beyond insult, which, if it is cast more boldly, more cleverly, is called wit.

Chapter 7

Indeed, I was astonished at this part of the accusation, and irked that it was given by Atratinus. For neither was it fitting, nor was his age demanding it, nor, just as you all could notice, was decency allowing the best of the young men to be involved in so great an oration as this. I wish that one of you stronger men had undertaken this job of speaking slander; we would suppress the license to speak slander somewhat more freely and strongly, and more in our usual style. But with you, Atritinus, I will go more gently, because your modesty restrains my oration, and I ought to maintain my kindness towards you and your parent.
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